Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize