bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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