I just threw up on my dentist
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize