Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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