We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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