would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
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the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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