I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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