k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize