Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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