Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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