The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize