Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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