i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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