I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
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so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Bring me that man meat
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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