The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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