mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I came so hard my ears popped.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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