dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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