She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
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I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
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because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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