well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Randomize