Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize