I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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