I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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