We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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