he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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