be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize