wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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