New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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