I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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