It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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