Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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