Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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