I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize