so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've blown a few things in my day
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize