Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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