so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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