Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize