broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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