I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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