Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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