conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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