For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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