I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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