so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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