im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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