ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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