I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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