i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the raccoons are back...
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