Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
