whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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