I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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