allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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