im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just google imaged poop.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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